So, for Halloween a couple of years ago, I dressed as the Fashion Police. It was a fun costume and rewarding in that we were able to get guys to buy us drinks.

"Hey, YOU - in the polyester!!"
"Yeah?"
"Yeah, you. Pull it over. THIS is a definite fashion violation! I'm going to have to write you up."
"But... but it's Halloween. It's part of my costume." (It's amazing how people get upset when you tell them you're going to "write them up." Where's the sense of humor?!! Huh?)
"I don't care what day it is, it's a violation all the same! Your fine is two beers. One for me and one for my friend."
"Oh. (smiling - oh, THERE's the sense of humor!) Well, okay. What do you guys want?"

As I drove home from work today, I saw yet another Hood Hook (a/k/a skanky lookin' hooker hanging in the hood) and thought that she could really benefit from a visit from the Fashion Police.

FP: "Oh yeah missy. Pull that on over. GIIRRRLLL! What the HELL were you thinkin' when you put that on?!"
HH: "I'm SEX- SAAY!"
FP: "Oh HELL naw! You're SKANK-KAAY."
HH: "Wha?"
FP: "Look, first off, lose the white panty hose. I don't know what you were trying ot do with that, but ya missed the mark. And honey, there is NO control going on with THOSE alleged control tops. All they're doing is creating a new roll over the top there."
HH: "But, they make me look slim."
FP: "uhhh... NO."
"Okay, next where in the HELL is your shirt?! Does your mother know you left the house like that?"
HH: "uhhh.... yes? It's my Wonderbra. I'm trying to be SEX-SAAAY!"
FP: "I wondering - WONDERING WHAT MADE YOU THINK THAT! It ain't working. Cover that shit up."
"Hey, I'm going to let you off with just a warning this time. Next time, I'm taking all your earnings for three days and going clothes shopping - for myself."
HH: "Damn! You more 'spensive than my pimp!"
FP: "DOH!"