Why Didn’t You Call ME?!


Yesterday, I attended the Battle of the Brits Car Show and almost purchased a 1964 Triumph Spitfire (which possibility is still not fully ruled out!) Anyway, we met up with some friends and then went to a local favorite brewery to hang. We, unfortunately, ended up at a table under the air conditioner which seemed to have a problem with it’s fan and was making a weird whirring sound - sort of like the core reactor on Star Trek or something! Of course, this made it difficult to converse. Instead of switching to another table like normal people would have, we decided to stay and laugh at our completely misheard and misinterpreted conversations. “Do you see in black and white?” “WHAT?” “Do I see in black and white?! Well…” “What?! No, where did you get that one from?” "I SAID...."

Conversations continued on like this until we got on to one of my favorite grrl topics (this is when I turn all grrlie and lose all tomboy credibility) – SHOES (I’ll admit that I bought 6 pairs last month!). The cool grrl next to me was wearing a t-shirt from the Bata Shoe Museum in Toronto. Who knew?! A whole museum devoted to SHOES!! This conversation took on incredibly hilarious proportions when it turned to a boy who was dissed by the Shoe Playa at Kenneth Cole.

My friend, the Jilted Shoe Luva, and I were shopping the week before when he informed me of a pair of shoes he saw and wanted to get from the Kenneth Cole store. Apparently, they didn’t have them in his size on a prior visit the week before and the salesman, T-Money, was going to order them and give my friend a call when they came in. I swear he sounded like a jilted lover when we went into the store and he asked the saleswoman if T-Money was in. She told JSL that T-Money was not in and asked if there was anything she could do for him. He said “Well, he was going to order a pair of shoes in my size and then call me when they came in. He never called me! Do you know if they came in?!” I had to walk away from the counter at that point to keep from laughing!

We had a good laugh at the brewery when we tried to create further scenarios. My friend, JSL, would find out T-Money’s home address and start to drive by, honking his horn and waving his fist: “Where are my shoes?!! And WHY DIDN’T YOU CALL ME?!”

Or, he’d have the guys from the Sopranos go to the store and show T-Money photos of the riverbanks, littered with empty cement bags and say “You know, we had to give the last shoe playa a new pair of shoes when HE never called…”

Ahhhh, lazy Sundays and goofy friends… ya gotta luv ‘em!